Inheritance Fears

Sorry for the no posting over the holidays. Things get busy fast when you have a nineteen month old with you without any scheduled structured activities. I have learned though. I nap when she does. I don't know that it gives me any more energy or makes me more rested, I just know that I do it. Good Yule holiday for us; the young one got many gifts, including to my dismay, several Elmo books. Having not observed the addictive properties of Elmo before, I was surprised at how quicky she took to Elmo - especially since she had never seen Elmo on TV outside of one or two segments on the two Seasame Street videos we own. I actually started to wonder if the day care was showing them videos in spite of their claim not to.

I am still fighting my depression though. Right now it has... faded somewhat. It is not as strong as it was but it is truly still with me. I'm afraid of it and I should be. Depression will kill me if I am not vigilant. I truly and deeply hope that my daughter does not inherit my depression; I think that would be awful. If she does, then my only hope is that medical technology will have advanced enough to treat it more effectively. I pray that I would recognize the symptoms sooner so that she can get help early.

Depression and alcoholism. Both hereditary. Both reasons why I did not want children. I think that the Goddess had other plans because my beautiful daughter was concieved in spite of all the careful precautions we took. No method of birth control is 100%, but my wife and I are both educated and the odds favored us by large margins. And then our daughter came along. She is adorable and so smart but I am filled with fears for her. My challenge is to not let those fears determine how I parent her.